I think, I feel, I care

Out with it!

It might be a harsh way of framing the thought but its the most straight-forward way I can think of.

A more polite version would be: "Express Yourself"

I for one belong to the category who has to learn not to express everything but somehow thats one lesson which continues to evade me on purpose

A lot of people however,Iv noticed dont feel that comfortable about speaking whats on their mind, as it is. I know the people Im talking about are confident. So the matter of self-doubt doesnt arise. Then why dont they express themselves? I've asked them the same question and all i have for an answer is that they just cant.

I dont know the reason but if I knew, Im sure we could work something out and get them to be more expressive.For one, I know its a lil difficult to deal with clamps who clamour everything and hold it close to their heart, never letting anyone know anything. Opening up is filled with positives that any negative one could think of is easily negated.

It makes a lot of difference when one expresses themselves. For one, theres not much ground for doubt/suspicion, it gets people close to you, warms up relationships and just gives a special glow Then why hesitate? I'll give you one more reason not to hesitate- nor you nor i have any idea about whats going to happen next, so why not live for the moment?! Tell those you cherish that you cherish them, those you dislike..hmm..maybe that we could put on hold

Come on, open up and be out with it!!

Over the past few days I have been thinking what would happen if I disappear? What would happen if I fade away into oblivion? It may sound a depressing thought at first but its pretty interesting to think about it.

The first thought which struck me is "Can I disappear?" Is it possible? I could perhaps erase the physical evidence of my existence but can I delete the memories? Thats not in my control. But then again, memories could fade over time?That is unless I have made an impact which would stay on forever. Im not very sure if Iv made an impact in anyone's life for them not to forget me. Family you say? I guess they would remember.

Then again, when I say "remember", I dont expect anyone to remember everyday. I dont remember the people I loved and lost everyday but there are certain occurances which remind me of them. Isnt that good enough?

I aint talking only about departing for good no thank you i have a loooong time left before thinking about it. Im talking of disappearing in terms of walking away. Its a possibility when you are constantly on the move. Iv shifted 4 countries till date and each time its a new life. Sometimes its not even countries, more often its the number of educational institutions iv attended (8 so far) Every school/college is different, with different systems,environments and people. Its made me adaptable no doubt but the fact remains that Iv lost out on a fair number of good friends.I remember them but the question is do they? So many things would have happened,so many people would have walked in and filled the position i had in their lives. Thanks to Orkut and Facebook im in touch with my highschool friends but even then the degree of closesness is vastly different and unavoidable.

So thats the whole unanswered question- can i fade away without making a difference?

I wonder..

Its not all about giving..

Sometimes, definitely yes.
All the time? Nope.

As much as one loves to give (give as in anything as the case may be) it always feels good to get as well. It is not a question of giving without expecting anything in return. Thats when it feels doubly good as in when a person gives without expecting anything in return but gets something, the joy the person feels motivates them further to give more and more. On the other hand imagine a situation where one has to constantly give without expecting anything, not getting anything. I must say its kinda demotivating and discouraging.

When I say get, anything would do- a heartfelt thank you note, a cheerful smile, a few kind words of appreciation, a prompt response, anything which would let the other person know you remember,care and appreciate. That isnt all that difficult is it? Sadly, a few dont quite realise it.

All I want to say is, respect people, let them know you care, let them feel the way you feel about them, make someone smile.

After all, it only takes a smile and a thank you