Hey All! Been quite a while 
Well, to cut a long story short I haven't been free and charged enough to type out posts. Almost a month since my last post and so many things have happened. The forever swinging emotional pendulum did its own fair share of swinging yet again. It was during one of these extreme swings, I was called insensitive.
I guess more than the comment itself, it was who said it that stung.
I guess people would call me rude or arrogant. That I'm used to now and have accepted it for most of the part. As long as my manners know how to behave in front of whom, I'm cool with it
Coming back to the comment, I can only guess that the cause of that comment would be that I had pushed a matter important to the person who passed the comment to the back of my mind because I had other things to focus on such as my exams, a few issues with friends and my own bit of nervousness about my future. Further, I've learnt one thing about myself in the past few years and that is that my physical health is in a deep and ever-lasting relationship with my emotional/mental health. The minute the latter suffers a low, the former buries itself live.
Sounds selfish; even to myself. On the other hand, if I do forever put their needs in front of mine, how would I ever address my own? Haven't I been doing it you ask? Indeed I have. Can't I continue? That I'm afraid would take a toll. Perhaps I still could continue if I at least feel that small amount of satisfaction I used to feel when helping out. Lately, that satisfaction is being replaced by a more vile emotion thanks to the various other comments the concerned person has passed which havent been forgotten despite my best efforts. Wicked brain I've got which has a knack of sharpening the daggers when weak. In such a scenario, talking it out would seem like the best option but strangely the concerned person wishes for me to trust them in whole when I can feel the dagger prick my neck. Sorry, past record doesn't rule the head nor the heart here 
I'm open to have a long chat about it all but lack the motivation for the same. More so since I have neither seen my opinion to have any weightage nor have I seen a difference despite it being promised during the other talks.
I guess this issue too, boils down to the point that we are all different people, still trying to catch hold of that one common chord to pull us together and till then we keep pulling all the wrong strings 
I'm just hoping that the right chord is found soon before all strings break
