I'd say I dont harm nature and attempt encouraging others not to harm nature either.

Thats about it.

Why?

Thats the simplest question I've answered in ages!

I love the way nature makes me feel. Simple.

The feeling one gets when the breeze caresses your untamed natural tresses; when the many stars wink in greeting while the mother moon looks at them her love glowing and illuminating the sky to a blue mankind is yet to imitate in charming perfection; when the sunrays sneakily peek through the blinds gently prodding you awake to experience the freshness life has to offer; when the sand takes in your physical weight at the beach as the waves ease your mental weight as they come in and take your troubles to a far far far away land; when standing in the balcony with the blossoms of the neighbouring tree smiling into your face scintillating your senses with their fragrance while the oh-so-light sprinkle of nature falls delicately so as to not hurt your tender skin by falling harsh; when sun smiles with a rainbow at the well-cleaned earth after powerful rains; when the butterfly you haven't seen in ages flashes its coloured wings reminding you of the existence of colours beyond black, white and grey; when your bare feet fall on the fresh soft grass carpet; when the very rat you try to chase away from your garbage turns to question you with its startlingly clear eyes as to how stupid must we be to let them enjoy the various free pleasures nature has to offer while we "enjoy" the costing comforts we created for ourselves; the feeling of content which warms the insides and glows on the outside is, at least in my opinion unparalleled.

What I have been a little afraid of is the possibility of all the above just being tucked in the corner of my brain as a distant memory. While the heart and senses long for the experience to be a daily occurence, a part and parcel of every day and night, the irrational brain forces its way through to whimper that in the name of development, all is justified only to be pushed out by the logical brain which is confident that development can happen in harmony with nature.

When all its going to take is a few smart brains and a lot of co-operation and willfull people, why not have the best of both worlds?

Easiest way: Avoid activities/products which harm the environment. Every small contribution adds to the big picture. Dream big, act small but constantly, bigger aims will be achieved!

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Well, to cut a long story short I haven't been free and charged enough to type out posts. Almost a month since my last post and so many things have happened. The forever swinging emotional pendulum did its own fair share of swinging yet again. It was during one of these extreme swings, I was called insensitive.

I guess more than the comment itself, it was who said it that stung.

I guess people would call me rude or arrogant. That I'm used to now and have accepted it for most of the part. As long as my manners know how to behave in front of whom, I'm cool with it

Coming back to the comment, I can only guess that the cause of that comment would be that I had pushed a matter important to the person who passed the comment to the back of my mind because I had other things to focus on such as my exams, a few issues with friends and my own bit of nervousness about my future. Further, I've learnt one thing about myself in the past few years and that is that my physical health is in a deep and ever-lasting relationship with my emotional/mental health. The minute the latter suffers a low, the former buries itself live.

Sounds selfish; even to myself. On the other hand, if I do forever put their needs in front of mine, how would I ever address my own? Haven't I been doing it you ask? Indeed I have. Can't I continue? That I'm afraid would take a toll. Perhaps I still could continue if I at least feel that small amount of satisfaction I used to feel when helping out. Lately, that satisfaction is being replaced by a more vile emotion thanks to the various other comments the concerned person has passed which havent been forgotten despite my best efforts. Wicked brain I've got which has a knack of sharpening the daggers when weak. In such a scenario, talking it out would seem like the best option but strangely the concerned person wishes for me to trust them in whole when I can feel the dagger prick my neck. Sorry, past record doesn't rule the head nor the heart here I'm open to have a long chat about it all but lack the motivation for the same. More so since I have neither seen my opinion to have any weightage nor have I seen a difference despite it being promised during the other talks.

I guess this issue too, boils down to the point that we are all different people, still trying to catch hold of that one common chord to pull us together and till then we keep pulling all the wrong strings

I'm just hoping that the right chord is found soon before all strings break

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This is my list! Whats yours?

PS-Im super glad to have found my best friend "Ketchup" and Im super proud of her, our friendship and the crazy stuff we end up doing

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The weightage given to weight. Thats what I'm talking about. I didnt have to think much about this topic at all. Almost everyone around me is concerned about their (and some my) weight.

Yes yes I can hear my own big brother's guffaw considering i almost constantly nag him to go and lose some weight.

The top reasons I have heard about are as follows:

- To look good boost one's own morale
- some to capture/hold attention of someone they like
- To take care of their health

Of the above, the first and last reasons I felt are sensible and are the reasons i repeatedly bug my brother to go get the flab off; i guess the fact that he looked much better when slimmer does influence or the fact that there just might be an element of the second reason)

My mom is permanently concerned about my weight, which at least in my opinion does not succumb to any of the stated reasons. Sadly she isn't the only one.

I dont quite get why people think I've lost weight when the weighing scales say the same weight they have been for over 2 years now! Nor do I understand how its to affect them. I do nothing to alter my weight. I still hog on chocolates and ice-creams,my monthly quota of junk remains constant, no difference in activity levels/food intake. Then how?! Worse still they dont accept it when I tell them so!

On a more general positive note, I guess this "thing" (for lack of a better word) has benefited mankind in general. Health drink companies making money out of their "keeps you full and is equivalent to the nutrition of a meal" * Note the weasel word:meal not a proper nutritious meal. Gym business going great guns. The media has an instant topic to hype when all else fails. Nutritionists back in demand. People taking an interest in their looks is resulting in most people looking good which lifts up anyone's mood. Perhaps people are indeed becoming healthier too.

On the other hand, this fancy for being super slim or "zero-size" is taking a toll on people, creating a prejudice against those on the heavier side which affects people in all spheres-personal and professional in particular which consequently leads to rise in depression which kick starts another cycle of negativity.

This would bring it to the grey area again. With the right approach its good and with the wrong one its having an adverse effect.

Whats the right approach you ask? My opinion, decide what motivates you. Keep that as the treat. More importantly dont look at it as a burden or compulsion. The negativity would counter your efforts. Instead, keep your thoughts positive which would make you feel light and energetic which, in turn would get you moving

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Anyways, this morning as I woke up I was reminded of something my english lecturer in College (Mr. Kennedy) had questioned. It was a question which had struck me as well, just one that I hadnt pondered much about. What better timing could I have than this day?

The question- "What do you define as independence?"

One question which opens Pandora's box.

Is it only political independence/freedom thats counted so?

If thats the case, then yes I agree we are our own country.

Thinking a little deeper, one would realise what makes a country is its people and what defines the people are their thoughts. If those thoughts are highly influenced by another country's ideals/way of life, do we still hold the right to call ourselves independant?

Then comes the next question- "what do we define as Indian?"

Are we to be pulled down by the mystic east image of a land of snake charmers? Or should we own up to being one of the fastest growing economies? Or both?

Sounds simple to say both.

Truth be told, Im utterly confused about the concept. The entire world is one place now. The thoughts are global, the economies are global, the feelings are global, the people are global, every thing of importance is global. Such being the situation is there something we can define as an individualistic nationality? Or does it boil down to the nation being your place of birth/origin?

I don't know.

What I do know is I am proud of India, its growth, its people, its charm, its energy and more importantly, its confidence

Heres wishing India and every one associated with India in any way, a very Proud and Happy Independence Day. May the country continue its upward swing with all its vigour.

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The latest bit of good news coming in the form of the highest number of women representatives in the Indian Parliament since Indian Independence in 1947. A lovely and promising first step.

However, there is something which is, at least in my opinion, significantly more important than the number. That something is how serious will these ladies be taken. Would their opinion be respected?

The reason of my saying so are reports (unfortunately I have no proof of validity of the reports) which state that more often than not many men push their respective wife to the forefront and use them as puppets to do what they wish to do.I wish I could confidently believe this to be false.

I would personally call it a victory even if there is only one woman representative in the parliament but that one woman is respected for her views, her standing and for her being a woman.

All I can do now is wait and watch if the Parliament would actually behave in a parliamentary fashion.

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Some facts before the questions:
-the government has allocated roughly 3900+ crores while estimated construction cost of rehabilitation is approximately 3600+ crores.
-Several schemes,trusts,funds have been initiated since 1970s.
-The movement began around 1956.

Now the questions and some thoughts-
1. Many of the slum people themselves are not very willing to move out

2. Even if the slum people are willing to move, there is a ques of the time period required to construct the promised apartments

3. will the apartments actually increase the standard of living?

4. how will people much below poverty level maintain apartments?

5. with current high real estate prices (its rising) the question of using such land for this purpose seems unrealistic against alternate uses of land.

6. Inspite of 10% residential land allocated to this project, how well will the middle and upper class react if they had a complex of "slum people" live next door in apartments?

7. the chances of much of the money remaining unutilised or misused like in the case of education fund is high

8.though India now has more land thanks to the droughts which have dried up a vast number of lakes and rivers, this land can not be used for construction purposes. Agriculture is also ruled out if the monsoons continue to be sparce.Afforestation sounds like an answer but the long time involved in it and the possibility of the climate picking up later lessens it in its ranking as the best use of such land.

9. The limited time frame of 3 years may be an extremely difficult aim to achieve. However it emphasises the concern that this project has been around a bit tooooo long and needs quick, efficient action to be wound up.

10. How long will this project sustain? or would it be like most SHG which fix the prob but not maintain in good condition later leading to a vicious cycle of poverty and the slum concept?

11. We know most of the causes and the facts. What can be done by the govt/people to change/remedy the situation?What would be the optimal solution?

12. There is also a matter of people feeling that they are being "evicted" from their slums-their areas..for many its a matter of history with the place. How do we deal with it?

For the rest of the post, Im copying a long chat I had with a friend of mine on the issue with his permission

Sriram Murali: hmm.. fair questions there. imo if the govt is really concerned about the people under consideration, any kind of development should be inclusive and the population must be a self sustained one. efforts must be made on that front rather than keeping infrastructure the prima facie issue.As for not wanting to move out - a few reasons i could think of would be near to nil cost of land/rent, access to livelihood(like in case of fisherfolk). so identifying the specific issue in a micro environment is the key to solving issue #1. solutions i have a few in mind but a one stop solution wouldn't work for all

Snk: wat solutions do u have in mind?

Sriram Murali: 2. Time is not really a factor if you consider 3 years. Quite possible for relocational infrastructure to be built within 3 years

Snk: and where would the people be placed during construction time?

Sriram Murali: solutions - educating them about an alternative source of income, in case of people not wanting to switch due to a host of reasons they might have looking into other avenues to make the source more viable under the new conditions.

Snk: agreed. this is where education comes into play. you'd also have to consider not only them but the people who employ them..as far as i can remember, only 6 in my class of 55 including me were willing to clean our own washrooms! Middle/higher income families have increasingly grown dependent on the services provided by those in these slum areas.An alternate source of income which they can not only perform but also be accepted is the doubt- how flexible are we as middle income ppl?

Sriram Murali: well, i do agree with the history part of it but the change in that part of things should come from self. all that an external stimulus can do is to show that more than the history, a better avenue exists if they move out of there. "we have been here for 10 generations now, haven't had much improvement in life or education fronts, if we make this change our children might have better openings to education(as an example). so i would gladly trade in my history for my children' future" this change must come from them

Snk: this project had been launched in 1956 and has several funds,trusts,schemes initiated since the 1970's.. the slums are being talked to.. how much of a change can one see now? Im not saying its impossible but clearly only the talking isnt working..

Sriram Murali: change - change of mindset

Snk: There has got to be some other way to fix the rut..
Snk: Im referring to change of mindset only

Sriram Murali: I am totally against manual scavenging for that matter. as for people not being ready to clean the washrooms they use, my stand is "education is not only for the so called economically deprived but also for the other end of the spectrum too"

Snk: exactly and i didnt mean only manual scavenging but even domestic help

Sriram Murali: as for domestic help, it is not really a straight forward issue like others. not that it is impossible to sort things out, but just that things run a level more deep

Snk: thats known..my question is what can we start doing?

Sriram Murali: hmm.. does it not vary with each case, but the bottom line is identify the specific issues and micro manage them for the people, to start with. once the smaller bricks are in place, others should be fine

Snk: the issues have been identified havent they?

Sriram Murali: thought you were talking in s about domestic help.

Snk: no..those ques are the specific issues dealing with the slum people in general.the domestic help is one of their biggest source of revenue apart from fishing and perhaps veg/fruits/flower selling to the best of my knowledge

Sriram Murali: hmm.. i can't really say anything unless i get to interact with them. There are exceptions though

Snk: exceptions to?

Sriram Murali: domestic help being the major source of income, domestic helpers being from slums. Exception 1 being, the prevalence of domestic help is not wide spread to account for it being a major source(what % of people employ domestic helps if you consider TN and outside chennai, and even within chennai if you move to the outskirts i don't see a high %)
exception 2 is a specific case from what i see at my place, the domestic help at my place is affluent enough to educate her kids at a CBSE institution)but the second is not gonna count a lot in terms of numbers so you could ignore it for now

Snk: i was thinking so..to take it a small step further.Many of these people give their children education, a lot of trusts help them out too.. but iv seen more than a few of the kids not interested in it.. accepted iv seen some extremely enthusiastic,confident and smart children belonging to the sector as well..most go to govt schools most of which are by no means the best.. what i cant place is how the 1200crores left with the govt collected by way of education cess remains unused. Why hasnt it been used to upgrade these schools which really need upgrades?

Sriram Murali: yes, the alienation from education can be nullified only if the rotten apple in the lot is moved to somewhere else

Snk: the prob is one rotten apple in the basket soon rots the others.. enough not to be able to distinguish one from the other.the blame game is easy to play here.. so who is held accountable?

Sriram Murali:In my opinion, we are more accountable than anyone else

Snk: how so? I agree abt the idea if bribes werent paid/encouraged,it wouldnt have happened so..

Sriram Murali: that's true in a sense. but how long could we afford to be slow

Snk: not long..which is why im thinking what can be done..for which we will have to figure what has to be done and how..

Sriram Murali: as for the blame, does the constitution mandate us(The so called educated and the grads of the Crème de la crème) not to stand for the rights and not to vote for the right person ? change has to come from "us" too.

Snk: we are drifting off the main issue

Sriram Murali: thought this would come up.

Snk: If i remember right a week ago in some magazine at college i read that this election showed one of the highest number of ppl at elections nd that people have become more questioning of the govt, its accountability and transparency..so in that aspect theres some progress..change wont happen over night..once the movement is on..theres only one way forward..

Sriram Murali: precisely

Snk: when we look at the ten ques.. which ones can be dealt with?

Sriram Murali: In my opinion, if we are talking about starting off right now, 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 10 are doable in a phased manner

Snk: hmm..first one i guess with genuine concern, we could somehow convince them..wait a sec theres a hitch there too

Sriram Murali: 5 is not really a big issue under the assumption(and to an extent the fact) the availability of lands is not all that low(unless if you take an example of chennai and want land/apartments in adyar/mambalam etc)what's the hitch?

Snk: they have heard these empty promises earlier.. how can one earn their trust to get them to believe what we, who have the luxuries of life, say about their situation?

Sriram Murali: my stand on this - no, i won't say of any luxuries of life right now. if you are willing to move out of the place, you have openings elsewhere, plus i am not gonna give anything to you per se but for my guidance on how to get things done. it is you who's gonna develop the entire population in a self sustained manner. helps in more ways than one imo, 1. you know better about the problems of your own people than me, an outsider 2. gives them a feeling of standing upon their own legs and rising up the ladder 3. if things so badly need it, micro credit could play a role.as for the 'other interfering factors' there is always the need for muscle power which i can't assure of (A/N: It had skipped my notice then but now i question if there could be a less violent yet efficient way of tackling the interfering factors)

Snk: for you to be able to tell all this to them, they have to listen to you, believ you, trust you.how will u manage that? Their trust in the affluent- not all, majority- is pretty much broken by the many broken promises

Sriram Murali: How about starting with a small subset of the population who you know and interact with a lot and help them out with things, be it micro credit or anything else to get them moving. once they are up the ladder they would educate their peers on this issue and we don't really have to do the work of getting the message across. addendum if a peer who has benefitted is talking worthy of something the message would reach better than any other mode of communication

Snk: smart..this would mean that there is a lot of work with us, the affluent to let go of gripping greeds and try to redirect funds..

Sriram Murali: totally

Snkhilanthropy being the concept..from concept its got to move to religion.

Sriram Murali: if i could quote manu, 1/16th of earning has to go towards helping others out.as a matter of fact religion always lays down rules for one to be inclusive in growth, just that people conveniently ignore it

Snk: sadly iv noticed many are willing to put in their brains and physical labour but not financially. many have the intention and do it. So the idea is to locate such people and stir things up

And thats where conversation with respect to this topic ended. I hope I get more inputs as comments as how to stir things up and how we can do and not talk.

Thanks to Tanya for letting me read the article!
Thanks to Sriram for the chat!
Thanks to you guys who have actually read through the whole post and posting your own views and comments!

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Quite contradictory to my usual nature of feeling pleased when Im right about something (which is almost always except when it comes to examinations )

I have always hurt deeply where children are hurt or subject to things they neednt know about it.

I guess you could figure how hurt Id feel every time I hear/read/think about child abuse. The few things which used to swirl in my mind was how any one could take advantage of the child's pure innocence, how could any one be so consumed to perform such an act, the guilt the child may grow up with, the fear instilled in the child, the possible lack of family support etc. Not a very positive picture I know but neither is the situation.

I have seen several children who have been subject to physical abuse and have felt bad about it, given them all the love i have and supported them and got the right kind of people to talk to the abuser and as far as i know, its definitely reduced and im pretty sure that sooner or later it will stop.

What I hadn't expected in such close proximity to me, to happen to a child iv seen growing past 2 years is sexual abuse. I wish I could say since no physical harm came to the child because of what was done to it,it isn't a serious issue. Fortunately or unfortunately i have enough sense to know that when it comes to this issue, the psychological harm is more severe and tougher to identify.

To see all those questions which had been playing in my mind come to reality was a far more crushing experience than my wildest imagination. Its left me in a state of shock and despair but none which could be called paralysing. Yet, its still running in my mind, over and over again. Im not able to express myself clearly when it comes to what Im feeling right now.

Im lost.

I wish she didnt have to go through it.

I wish I could do something more than offering the kid all the support I can without making it feel odd/guilty.

I wish I weren't right about the impact an incident like this could have on the child.

I wish, for once let me have been wrong.

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I neednt say it was beautiful and captivating.

The curtain of clouds I have to say added to the beauty. In reality, I had mistaken the vast expanse of clouds to be a lake with the reflection of the sunset. Truly I had been decieved by nature. It was only when I recollected that there were no lakes this route did I realise my folly.Nature humbling us to think that the nature many of us have taken for granted can outsmart you in less than a minute.

A cloud, its so fickle. It doesnt exist in solid form yet from a distance, we believe it does.Nature asking- how many times do we,people do that with other things in our life?

The clouds divided the sunset into 2 bits. From above the clouds there was light- bright and yellow (not golden)From below there was darker light a sort of crimson red expanding. Nature reminding us of two sides of a coin perhaps? Everything has its positives and negatives, its dark side and the lighter side.

The gaps in the clouds giving a sneak peek into the light sky reminded me of the world beyond. I dont know if I believe in the concept but it definitely struck me. Im always surprised as to how small we humans would look if the clouds could see. We make such a small part of Earth and yet make so much noise about it?

Another thing which struck me was how close the sun and the clouds seemed. The sun which symbolises heat and light and the clouds which represent coolness and shade were there complimenting each other. Why cant we humans manage to co-exist with people who seem so different from ourselves?

Apart from that those thoughts, I spent more than half an hour doing one of my favourite childhood pass times of making people and objects out of clouds and telling myself a story with the people and objects I found in the sky. Much fun it was and i cant wait to do it again!

PS- Im not sure if these thoughts were a result of some philosophical side of me which im yet to acknowledge or out of boredom! Whatever the case, the thoughts made sense and proved to occupy quite a lot of my time

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There were some images i saw which made me think. A lot.

One such image was that of 2 trees, less than 500m apart in physical distance but different in every way. Tree1 was barren, standing alone without a bush for company,high against the setting sun. There was some kind of melancholy to it yet it looked beautiful and light. Tree2 was lush; filled with green leaves, with little fat bushes gathered at its base. It looked happy but heavy.

What struck me about the image was how close the two trees were but so very different. I couldnt quite reason how thats possible except for that maybe they were 2 different species of trees. The close distance rules out any chances of soil change or heat or water recieved.

I dont know why but the sight made me relate to the 2 trees as people.Tree1 i looked as a person without a family or many friends but a fantastic career.Tree2 I saw it as a person with a big family,plenty of friends but a halted career.I guess my brain had related the tree's leaves as family which undeniably give a person their happiness, the bushes as friends which stand by our side all along making life seem fuller,the height of the tree as the graph of the person's career and the aura around it (light/heavy) as the responsibilities the package brought with it.

At first glance,I wasnt able to decide which of the 2 trees I liked better. I really couldnt. I loved the fullness of Tree2 but adored the height of Tree1. Undeniably Tree1 had me in awe. It struck me as strong but weathered. The height was fascinating but as i looked at the tip of the tree longer, I couldnt help feeling as though the tip was lost and disconnected.Tree2 brought a smile to my face. Its fullness, its usefulness(a lot of shade it could provide), its freshness. There was almost a sense of comfort i could associate with the tree.What haunted me was the relatively stilted height.

When I connected all my thoughts to my relating the trees to persons, I confess I had a pretty deep, even if confused, insight to myself.

The logic seemed to me to be acceptable worldwide with a few exceptions.
Tree1Persons with family and friends(provided they are all happy) are happier, fresh but loaded with responsibility. Also, a person loving their family would invariably divide their time between family and career and would despite their best efforts fall short in either of the 2 areas.
Tree2Persons living alone with neither family nor friends are bound to feel lonely at some time or the other which brought with it the look of melancholy. However with no other interest,its possible that the career graph takes an upturn which brings the person the beauty and admiration.

After much thought and consideration I decided I'd any day be like Tree1 which had both

Which one would you be?

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This post is a little different.

Human Resource is another subject of my interest. One such theory in the subject is the theory of ownership which goes along the lines that when an employee begins to feel that he owns the company,he would be motivated to act in the beneficial interest of the company. Agreed from the overview.Thus was born your ESOP(Employee Stock Option Plans)

On deeper thought Im forced to think from another perspective which raised one big question in my head-

1.In these times of recession where every person's job is feared to be at stake, is ownership still appreciated?

My reasoning is that it wouldn't be. With no practical experience in the corporate world, Im free to run my reasoning on my general knowledge and rationale. Assuming the theory is true, this would be a boon if it happens in the top management. My question is what if a middle or lower level employee takes to the ownership theory? Logic follows that the employee would perform better. If a junior performs better, the chances of the senior (especially under current scenarios) feeling that his seat is being threatened is higher. If this happens the possibility of the senior taking credit for the junior's initiatives and performance would be prevalent. This would, in turn, mean that the junior is not being recognised for his efforts. Its an accepted theory that recognition often means a lot in terms of motivating an employee.One may infer that thus, the employee loses his motivation to perform despite the feeling of ownership which had motivated him to perform in the first place. Or is it safer to say that when such a situation occurs, the theory of ownership dissipates and recognition as a factor of motivation comes into play? May this be interpreted to mean that recognition is a better motivator than the feeling of ownership?

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It revolves around the idea of entities playing with their accounting records in a way which is within the letter of the law but going against the spirit of law. In simpler terms, creative accounting refers to businesses using the loopholes in law to give a rosier picture of their financial standing.

To make the concept clearer, here is a list of a few methods adopted which accounts to creative accounting:
-Playing with the minds of the financial analysts by forecasting lower figures than expected so that when the results come, the company appears to have exceeded expectations

-Exclusion of liabilities/Off-balance sheet financing: this is where the liability is not shown in the books

-Altering the timing of the transaction:companies may delay/hurry the despatch of sales, plan the timing of sale/purchase of assets

-Use of alternative methods of accounting which certain standards allow, especially in cases of depreciation and provisions

-Playing with the leverage given to the management to make some classification decisions

-Recognition of revenue before/after it is rightfully earnt

The motivation behind the concept of creative accounting is listed as-
1. For personal gains of the managers(who get bonuses and other benefits in the light of good performance)
2.For indirect personal gains (where the entity's reputation of a good performer sticks onto the employee)
3.Tax Avoidance (need i say more?)
4.An attitude of following the pack- where managers feel everyone/major players in the industry are doing it and hence they must too.
5.Meeting convenants(conditions)set by banks and financial institutions
6.Increasing shareholder confidence.

While studying the above, I was able to accept all the reasons (which at least to me seemed to revolve around internal factors) except the last one, which I believe has a huge external factor,sparked off an internal debate in me.

If entities are white washing their accounts to show exemplary performance and hence raise shareholder confidence in the company, what about when everything comes to light? Like in Enron and Satyam? At the same time, in my opinion no shareholder would like it if they come to know that the company they have invested in isn't doing well and would most probably withdraw their funds. Every entity is dependant on its shareholder's funds. This directly threatens the future growth of said entity. If this is taken as reasoning than one would be compelled to agree that perhaps its the external pressure on the company which is leading it to adopt unethical methods like creative accounting. However, one can easily argue that in all righteousness the pressure must lead to performance. My argument is- especially in these times where even the top performing companies feel the pinch, how can any entity which knows that most of its shareholders may not be very acquainted with technical commerce,be confident that its funds will not be threatened? At the end of the day, the shareholders are primarily-i repeat-primarily concerned with the return they get in the form of dividends and if this is going to go down a mile, im guessing the smile soon going to become a frown.

So, are we, as society, as shareholders partly in blame for the unethical methods adopted by entities? Can the last reason stated be completely justified as a reason?c

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Note: I am not saying the same things aren't there in countries. They are all simple stuff which every country might have but I know for a fact that India has.

Top Ten Things I love about India

1. Everyone is connected at some level-knowingly or unknowingly.You stand in the middle of the crowd and theres always some feeling of connection, even with people you have never met in your life before.

2. Everyone is family. The stranger who steps into the lift a minute later would be your kid's "uncle/aunty/brother/sister"

3. The variety of food-not only in the number of dishes or places but the ingredients-the spices, the vegetables, the cereals etc

4.You have everything within a radius of 7kms. May it be a slum, skyscrapers, temples, churches, mosques,shopping malls/areas, "colonies" (group of apartments),educational institutions,food courts,local market-anything else you would possibly need for a living is all within 7kms. Its all there, sometimes if you go a little further, you will find something that suits your requirement perfectly.

5.You can walk barefoot, hum to yourself, grin at the world and still feel perfectly at home. Nothing is out of place here.

6. The prices are to suit everyone. You get the same stuff, with little variance in quality in all price ranges, take your pick and feel your pocket grow heavier.

7. The people. Unbelievable.You have got to experience them to know what Im talking about.

8. The diversity. The number of languages, people's behavior and attitudes, their varied beliefs,their status in terms of literacy,economic conditions, the different customs,traditions (many of which are dieing a silent misunderstood death) the extremes you find in every nook and corner of the country.

9. The topography. Name it and its there in India. For a travel lover, theres plenty you can explore and experience here.

10. Anything you name is bound to be here. Sometimes in disguise,sometimes blatantly.

Keep your senses and brains on alert- India is a country to experience.

Comments

Its been 4 years since I've moved to India.
I've loved every minute.
Had you told me 4 years ago that I would be the person I am today, I would have in all probability dismissed you with a scoff and rude childish remark.

True. India as a country, has its own faults, but which country doesn't? Which country doesn't have foiled politicians, cracked systems, weird people?

I know of none. None which don't have any of the above.

My belief is that every country has its own fouls, some make more noise than others dragging attention to it. The attention directed to the issue is not always corresponding to the intensity of the issue.The truth remains that the issue exists everywhere.

Perhaps one might spill venom when affected directly by the injustice of the fault but I can't comment on that. As far as I've figured, injustice is like death. You know its wrong but you don't realise how much it hurts until you have faced it yourself.

For me, moving to India 4 years ago was upsetting. In all honesty I wasn't bubbling with glee at the thought of having to move back to my homeland after living abroad for more than a decade. I was upset and I clearly remember a few tears rolling down my cheek when the plane took flight. I was upset because I had thought moving to India would be the end of my pampered,luxurious life, the foregone opportunity of having a chance at becoming the school vice-president(something like deputy head girl), the dread of having to yet again join a new institution and make a mark, the thought of leaving back friends and a happily established routine.

The foul mood stayed on for a while but not long like any of my moods. I cant quite point out when was it that I cheered up about the idea but Im guessing a month at the max. There were a few instances in the first 6 months which made me wish with all my heart to rewind time but overall, I knew I was in love.

In love with the mess, the madness, the cheer, the hope, the help, the health, the walks, the prices, the diversity, the food, the climate,the people and everything else to do with the country. Its a way of life- something fresh and interesting.

I dropped almost everything which had defined me till my tenth grade.Each day, I found a new aspect to myself. Each day I found myself growing to be a better person, stronger- physically and mentally. Each day I found myself waking up with a smile, eager to get up and run, to catch an auto who would most probably ask for extra fare seeing im in a hurry to reach class,to deny the auto driver with some unnecessary comment, to catch another auto(this time smiling)to dodge a dung stained swishing cow tail or running to reach class(more so to avoid the big black dog who loves to hate me) just in time and occasionally a lil late,smile at the teacher, get into class, wile away the next 4-5 hours in class with best friend miraculously getting something into my head too and walk home whenever I can with said best friend spending hours chatting and roaming one specific area before coming home tired but happy.It was a new routine, a routine with a difference which I began to love and cherish much more than my old routine which on retrospect,feels pretty dreary.

2 years later another shift- another new institution for my undergrad. This time I enjoyed the early mornings, the sunrise, the pleasant breeze in the morning, the lil walk to class and back out to head towards a playschool I work at to see the little ones grin their recognition,hug their affection and yell their content. Its lovely. Theres hardly a boring day. Theres always something happening. Nope, Im not kidding nor am I referring only to the time I spend with the kids. Im talking about everyday of my life. Theres always something happening, something which brightens up my day or makes it look dreadful but its definitely there, every single day.

And I know its because I live here, in India, my motherland, my country, my home.

Its shown a whole new me who by any and all standards is better than the one I was and I know its just going to get better.

Its made me who I am today.

Nothing is ever going to make me regret my living here.
Not today, not ever.

Comments

5 terms which I'll tell you about how i look at them.

Self-esteem: What one thinks of himself
Self-respect:how much one credits himself
Arrogance:High self-esteem without substance
Pride: High Self-esteem with substance
Ego:the conscious mind.

Sadly, Im to accept that recently, atleast in India (as far as I know) "ego" is considered synonyms with arrogance and pride. The "higher"/"superior" one considers themselves, the more "egoistic" they are. I could put up a separate post on my study of the "ego" but nows not the time for that.I promise to bug about that a lil while later. For now, let ego be the boss.

Self-esteem I'd say is pretty closely connected to self-respect and arrogance. When one thinks highly of themselves,chances of said person crediting themselves with more than whats due to them is a possibility.This leads that mostly, when this crediting becomes in excess, you land yourself with arrogance.

Self-respect on the other hand is linked to pride and takes it basis from self-esteem. For example if a person has a healthy image of themselves, they are bound to take credit for only whats due to them i.e. they would be more willing to explore and accept their faults. This could lead to pride, if the person happens to be one of substance.

Then again, what can be termed substance? If I take the real way out-its subjective. Unfortunately thats the truth and for a change, its easy. What one thinks as substance the other may not. Iv seen people who consider what they have as substance and hence whomsoever has the same is another person of substance. Iv also seen people who consider what they dont have as substance. Yet again if I were to ignore the differences culture, society and environment bring i could take a chance and define substance to being "Something which makes the person square their shoulders while helping another person square theirs." In less fancy terms, anything which has been of help to someone else along with the person who owns such quality,virtue,object,wisdom etc

Pride, in my opinion is one of the best motivators one could have as well as the most potent destroyer. It can push you to extremes you thought impossible and yet shy you away from the most beckoning experiences.

Having said all that, here is the second question I pose for which I hope I get an answer- when some concept such as the difference in the 5 terms is highly subjective, how does one assume the right to judge/label another with any of the terms? Ironically arrogance and ego seem to be popularly used in a degrading/negative manner?

Comments

It might be a harsh way of framing the thought but its the most straight-forward way I can think of.

A more polite version would be: "Express Yourself"

I for one belong to the category who has to learn not to express everything but somehow thats one lesson which continues to evade me on purpose

A lot of people however,Iv noticed dont feel that comfortable about speaking whats on their mind, as it is. I know the people Im talking about are confident. So the matter of self-doubt doesnt arise. Then why dont they express themselves? I've asked them the same question and all i have for an answer is that they just cant.

I dont know the reason but if I knew, Im sure we could work something out and get them to be more expressive.For one, I know its a lil difficult to deal with clamps who clamour everything and hold it close to their heart, never letting anyone know anything. Opening up is filled with positives that any negative one could think of is easily negated.

It makes a lot of difference when one expresses themselves. For one, theres not much ground for doubt/suspicion, it gets people close to you, warms up relationships and just gives a special glow Then why hesitate? I'll give you one more reason not to hesitate- nor you nor i have any idea about whats going to happen next, so why not live for the moment?! Tell those you cherish that you cherish them, those you dislike..hmm..maybe that we could put on hold

Come on, open up and be out with it!!

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The first thought which struck me is "Can I disappear?" Is it possible? I could perhaps erase the physical evidence of my existence but can I delete the memories? Thats not in my control. But then again, memories could fade over time?That is unless I have made an impact which would stay on forever. Im not very sure if Iv made an impact in anyone's life for them not to forget me. Family you say? I guess they would remember.

Then again, when I say "remember", I dont expect anyone to remember everyday. I dont remember the people I loved and lost everyday but there are certain occurances which remind me of them. Isnt that good enough?

I aint talking only about departing for good no thank you i have a loooong time left before thinking about it. Im talking of disappearing in terms of walking away. Its a possibility when you are constantly on the move. Iv shifted 4 countries till date and each time its a new life. Sometimes its not even countries, more often its the number of educational institutions iv attended (8 so far) Every school/college is different, with different systems,environments and people. Its made me adaptable no doubt but the fact remains that Iv lost out on a fair number of good friends.I remember them but the question is do they? So many things would have happened,so many people would have walked in and filled the position i had in their lives. Thanks to Orkut and Facebook im in touch with my highschool friends but even then the degree of closesness is vastly different and unavoidable.

So thats the whole unanswered question- can i fade away without making a difference?

I wonder..

Comments

Sometimes, definitely yes.
All the time? Nope.

As much as one loves to give (give as in anything as the case may be) it always feels good to get as well. It is not a question of giving without expecting anything in return. Thats when it feels doubly good as in when a person gives without expecting anything in return but gets something, the joy the person feels motivates them further to give more and more. On the other hand imagine a situation where one has to constantly give without expecting anything, not getting anything. I must say its kinda demotivating and discouraging.

When I say get, anything would do- a heartfelt thank you note, a cheerful smile, a few kind words of appreciation, a prompt response, anything which would let the other person know you remember,care and appreciate. That isnt all that difficult is it? Sadly, a few dont quite realise it.

All I want to say is, respect people, let them know you care, let them feel the way you feel about them, make someone smile.

After all, it only takes a smile and a thank you

Comments

Its an amazing book which is pretty thought provoking when you have experienced what is shared in the book. The book by itself is a real life account of a Psychologist and his patient. The patient has symptoms of fear and distress. As therapy, the Doctor hypnotizes her which brings out startling revelations and truths about past lives and life after death.

I dont want to spoil it for anyone. The book is a must read in my opinion. It will change your outlook and beliefs if you have experienced even once anything close to whats in the book. A little bit of thinking and you will discover that the book is a treasure.Plus it makes for great conversational fodder.

Atleast I feel so.

Do read it,think about what is said,learn the revealed truths and celebrate your life like never before with no fear of death.

A very small post (by my standards atleast ) but the book is to be read and understood individually to appreciate what Im referring to.

Hoping you would get a copy and enjoy it,
PrincessSnk

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Only mine starts muuuuch earlier.. i can go on and on and on but i shall, for your sake, cut it down to only the most memorable ones spanning from my Kindergarden to this date

Kindergarden
One fond memory which is pretty deeply imprinted would be teachers teaching us how to make peanut butter sandwiches and they had in an attempt to shut me up and a couple of others smeared the peanut butter on our lips and asking us to close our mouths and then telling us that they have glued our lips together and we wouldnt be able to speak and how innocently we had believed and sat quiet despite much restlessness. lol
Another strong memory is being picked up by some people who used to work for my dad from school being taken home only to be handed a change of dress and told that we would be going to a different country. Just like that.

First & Second Grade
There are far too many memories of the various class activities and fun i had outside school during these 2 years when we lived in Honk Kong. May it be the building of nest for the birds, being the caretaker of the turtles for 2 straight years,the show and tell class, the winning of the fancy dress competition being dressed as an indian princess, the science class where we were to draw the full body outline of a friend and fit in all the organs in the right places, shifting of campus, running around, hiding in corners, the trick or treats,the creative classes, the annual christmas shows where once i had to mouth sync that i was singing coz i had no idea of the lyrics lol,another in which i was the narrator with full ishtyle(style) and that very night when we had a dance on stage and the duffer who was to be my partner kept stepping on my skirt which was threatening to fall untill i stamped his foot.. sorry oi..then ofcourse the school fairs where we could our face painted and win gifts outside school was fun too with regular visits to the library in the park which was opposite our complex, lil shopping trips to Watsons with mom, regualar weekly meals at Mc Donalds and Pizza Hut (one week it was McD and the next PH)i can still taste the fantastic cheese crust..im yet to taste a better cheese crust, huge shopping trips to Toys'R'Us for which we had to cross the sea by ferry, dance classes which were a long drive up a hill,visits to different houses which involved plenty of travelling,by bus, by car,by tram,by ferry and looooong walks holding dads hand to reach the much loved Disney Shop to come out with something significantly small and ofcourse not to forget my dance performances

Third Grade
We had shifted to Chennai,India for my third grade. Getting used to the place wasnt difficult for me but it was for my brother. Nothing significant about this particular year, a random collection of memories involving cousins and festivals

Fourth and Fifth Grade
Was shifted to Kuwait by 4th grade and the only thing i remember here would be slamming a book at a guy who was getting on my nerves.. youch.. Well actually the whole classroom was a mess with everyone picking out their respective targets and creating chaos

Sixth and Seventh Grade
Aah..2 years im not very fond of. I had faced a lot of prejudice and racism in these 2 years. It had made me stronger im not denying that but some comments still hurt.Better left unsaid.

Eighth,Ninth and Tenth Grade
Right after 2 of my worst years came 3 of my favourite years. These three years i learnt what friendship was, learnt that commerce was my true calling,the cheerful,slightly bossy girl of my childhood returned. It was in these 3 years that i had learnt how to be independant thanks to my mom who used to frequently fly to her son who was in India pursuing his undergrad. As to figuring that commerce was my true calling 2 incidents cemented my belief. One of them being once when out at dinner with dad at one of his company's restaurants and i had on a very approximate basis guessed very close to the actual cost of running the restaurant Another was a super fun experience where we (a bunch of friends and myself) planned and executed at a profit a complete entertainment stall at our school carnival. Beautiful memories.I cant possibly explain all that excitement and fun here

Eleventh and Twelfth Grade
The best two years of my life. I could possibly write an entire post about these 2 years. Iv had so much fun, been so busy in all spheres of my life. I met my best friend. Had a blast of a lifetime with long walks filled with very interesting conversation, classes were interesting in more ways than just education incentives other than marks for attending classes,awaiting exams for an altogether different reason scored my near lowest and my highest in academics, winning 12 competitions in a row, making my presence felt,compering for a fest,starting to write my stories,blogging, a lot of new experiences in 2 years. After all I had shifted back to India. I must say the timing hurt loads when I left Kuwait coz I had a steady group of friends, I had wanted to apply for the assistant Head Girl post (called assistant Vice President in our school) but I was taken away from it all and pushed into a brand new place to build myself and I can say without any doubt that its been the best move ever! Changed me in several ways, taught me soo many things I didnt know, experienced so many things which otherwise I wouldnt have had a chance to. Id never forget these 2 years...especially my twelfth. Its a year close to my heart and would always remain so

Undergrad
Aah.. I managed to get into the University which I believed and i think still believe gives me a boost With one more year left I cant say anything much except that my articles have been published twice in a row in the University Magazine. The rest of it I guess will have to be updated in a year's time

Right, that was long i agree but cmon 19 years of existence definitely deserves it

Comments

The first round was a case study to do with the revival of a sick beer brewery and truth be told, i learnt more about beer overnight than i would have otherwise the round served as a warm up. Since the first round was almost a week earlier, the participants were left in suspense as to when the next round was.

The next round was on a lazy sunday(which sunday of mine aint lazy?)We were given 3 hours to formulate a biz plan and damn smart organisers didnt mention the currency of capital and all contestants,to the best of my knowledge assumed it to be indian rupees,including myself. I thought it was a constraint of capital and was pretty glad that i could complete the plan and submit it online on time.

Then came the 3rd round,on the eve of the fest. TO make a biz card. I had no clue why they wanted it nor do i know till now whether it made a difference or not. Created my own company, appointed self as the CEO and cooked up an address i dont know whether exists or not i liked it though.

We were asked to report at 7:30am in comfy gear. When waiting for the other participants I was pleasantly surprised to be remembered by a contestant whom I hadnt met earlier as the Classical dance girl (okay he got the classical dance name wrong, but still..hadnt expected it at all)
The 4th round was a physical exercise round. One round which surely made me hate the organisers!! Okay, the idea was really nice and fun and i know i would have enjoyed had i had the stamina the idea of hiding coins at the other end of the campus and giving a severe time constraint.. lol! at the end of it i was glad i got only 5 coins even if it meant i had to crawl under benches!! it atleast made my organisational structure clean and organised.

The next round is one id never forget for sure! sing a song which suits a contestant whose name you have picked as a chit. Me? Sing? right! inspite of listening to loads of songs, nothing really struck me till the last moment that too from a movie which released way back around '95. as usual,didnt remember the lyrics either so everyone was saved of the torture of having to hear me sing. The funny thing here is I attempted to sing (if u can call it that) the song coz it was the only one which struck me and the contestant thought it suit him perfectly. Talk about luck

We were then taken to a popular shopping place and given Rs.100 to buy 2 products of which one we had to sell and the other to keep.I had guessed the round earlier. Just sensed it. This round gave me quite a few memorable moments i must say. The first being the whole experience of selling a Rs.21 design stencil for Rs.45.The number of times iv introduced myself in that one hour i dont think iv done it before. Nor have i had to plead with an aunty to let me use the loo and promise to pay Re.1 later. Thank you organisers for confiscating my wallet and negating my chance of shopping sans transport cost and ofcourse, paying the loo aunty later iv never heard a person reprimanding for using the loo before! definitely a first time experience.The next thing I enjoyed about the round was chatting up with Israeli tourists. Overall, the experience of the round is quite memorable. Well done organisers!!

I had round 5 guessed aswell which was to market the product we had bought with the other Rs.50. I dont know what the organisers thought of selling but I had quite a few laughs at another contestant's selling ideas. Might be sounding rude but the entire idea of fruit flavoured cigarettes uv got to agree is hilarious!! When one of the judges suggested pineapple flavoured cigarettes, i was sourly tempted to ask if he would come out with jackfruit ones too! lol! I dont know if he realised but flavouring cigarettes could be poisonous. Another contestant definitely made us all laugh by saying that if our stress levels would reduce if we tore his product apart, he would be happy (his product was a stress buster) True. Why would he bother? his product would have to be bought for it to be ripped. One another contestant made us go weak by charming us into tasting non-existent chocolates in our mouths. Kudos!

Next, for round 6 we headed towards the most posh mall in the city and were asked to collect as much info as we could. I must say I learnt a lot there in the mall in terms of marketing tactics of certain brands and their sales, restaurant menus and stuff. We were told later that we were to assume that the mall was a plain structure and we were to sell it to a potential investor with a presentation. I dont know if I had the organisers/judges convinced but I liked doing the presentation. Makes you feel important. Mind you, it was an overnight presentation. We had to turn up the next morning with the presentation ready.

Then came round 7 a press meet. lol! I guess you can figure out what happened! I was supposed to be a businessman- one whose project has been stuck because of political issues. This round I know for sure, I must have been the lowest scorer or close to the lowest. Bombed, the minute I spoke about politics.

Round 8 i know wasnt marked. We were to hand write a 4pg essay on Mahatma Gandhi which was torn the next morning once we submitted it. I believe there was a round 9 which included calling us up at 2am asking us to write an essay on some topic i dont remember which was to be torn apart with the essay on MAhatma Gandhi. Luckily the round got scrapped thanks to me not having a cell phone

Round 9 included making a video on an issue specific to our city. I made one, with much help from my brother on Bangalore being a global village with an Indian touch. I loved the video and cant possibly thank him for helping me out with the round coz i aint good with tech at all! Just wished the clarity was better though

I had slept at 4am that day after getting the video, essay and presentation ready and I must thank my brother and another friend (Im sure the person knows who) who helped me stay up, encouraged me to keep going and proved to be a great deal of support. We were to report at 6:30am that morning.So, I had a grand total of an hour and a half of sleep. However, the presentation and the video in my opinion went pretty well.

Round 10 I dont quite remember where it was placed was to fill in the names of the rivers of India. This idea how they got I dont know. I never learnt my maps even for my Tenth Boards, so i guess you can guess how disastrous that must have been. In between all these rounds we were asked to fill up a questionnaire of ten questions which i knew was to be used for the stress interview which would be the last round. Sad, my brain wasnt working and I have no clue why i wrote the rubbish i did but that quite clearly explains why the last round flopped bad.

Round 11 was criticism round which was undeniably fun. We were seven of us participating and one by one we were to go up and defend ourselves of the accusations and criticism. This round gave me a chance to vent at the unethical means adopted by a contestant in Round 4. I dont know if he was penalised for it but i hope so. Otherwise the round was pretty funny in retrospect. I must add it was damn good of all contestants to take it sportively and laughing about it later once the round was done. The best compliment i received in the competition must be when they told me they found it tough to find fault with me.I was and am happy with the way i defended myself. I dont know the organisers view about it though.

Round 12 was another fantastic round in which we trade and plan our city. I had loads of fun doing it. Brilliant idea organisers!!

Round 13 was a complete chiller where we were to play monopoly and i as usual had a blast playing. Wish we could have gone playing longer.

Round 14 was the stress interview i completely screwed up. I dont know. When i was outside, i was normal but when i came in, it seemed like a completely person was walking in. I knew less than a minute into the interview, iv lost the game. I still am not able to decipher why i did/said what i had.

All said, the deserving one won I wouldnt say I dont deserve not to win but the finals had screwed up my chances. Im happy that I had put up a tough fight.

One more thing which im pretty sure is salient is the bonding between the participants. We knew each other for less than 2 days and yet we felt like friends helping each other out even till the finals. A pat on the back for all contestants id say!

Last but not the least, organisers! you guys absolutely rocked! Just wish you had been a bit more open about the performance in each round after the elimination atleast. It would give better insight into our mistakes. Otherwise you guys were rocking! Well done and keep it up!!

Comments

Meet Mr.A, a manager of a top firm.

Mr.A is a highly qualified,skilled and secure individual with a happy personal life. His company does everything in its capability to keep Mr.A motivated and content.There seems no apparent reason for Mr.A not to perform. Unfortunately,the most recent appraisal said otherwise. Mr.A went home pondering where could he be going wrong and the answer rings a bell-TIME MANAGEMENT.

Indeed,time management is where he was going wrong and its high time to tackle the issue.

Time management is a simple concept which can be broken down into a process of 4 steps:

List out the tasks for the day
Prioritise the tasks
Form a schedule
Stick to the schedule!

Adopting the 4 step process can make or break a person. However, there are a few things to be observed in each step.

While listing the tasks for the day, one has to ensure that an achievable target is set for the day and not an entire week's worth of work

Prioritise the tasks on certain grounds which are relevant to the nature of your tasks. In the office front it may be your deadlines or the importance of the work in a process etc

Form a schedule keeping in mind the actual time you need to do the task and not the time you would like to spend on it.this requires an understanding of the task

Finally the killer-Stick to the schedule! Just because you have set your own deadlines for the tasks doesnt mean you can amend it as per your wish. Its tough but well worth the struggle.

Now that we have the basics of time management laid down, lets concentrate on how is time management relevant to employees. Time management is a skill which is vital to every person irrespective of age,occupation or position. A few of the benefits to employees who adopt time management sincerely include-

Projects can be completed on time if not ahead of time since the tasks are broken down and listed clearly. This definitely reduces pressure on the employee bringing down stress levels resulting in a happier, healthier and performing employee

The employee gets more time to think and work on challenging tasks thereby increasing his calibre and quality of his work

Another major advantage of time management-especially the step of setting deadlines for oneself is that the employee's committment to the task in hand increases as they become accountable to themselves, to attain the targeted deadline set by themselves.It works as a motivator.

The employee would discover time which had earlier been wasted. More often than not this “extra” time is spent by the employees on themselves.This improves their feel good factor and their self-esteem and confidence get a boost.

Soon the employee becomes internally motivated to do better, to better himself. He begins to try beat his own previous records and set new ones which translates into a continuously improving performing employee for the company.

See the benefits of time management Mr.A missed out on? Hopefully, you wont become Mr.A's double!! Go on, make time management a habit and see the results for yourself, not only in your professional lives but in your personal lives as well.

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Trust is the basis of all relationships goes the saying

Everywhere around us, advertisers are hitting our heads with "Trust us"
(there is one detergent which goes with the line- trust pink, forget stains..yuck!)

However, how many of us actually sat down to wonder what trust is.

Nor have i really bothered to define what trust means. Given my discretion,I'd say trust is the belief you kept on a person/thing that its worth while, that you and your secrets are safe, that you can be your own self without having to worry whether your secrets or other confidential information is not being used for any other purpose by that person or by anyone else.

Then comes breaking of trust which happens to negate the above mentioned points. Comes crashing down on you with unbelievable force.The thing about breaking trust is that its double sided. The issue has to be looked at by both people from both sides for them to understand whats happened. Its easy to slip into the "my trust was broken, how can i be at fault" mode. For it to be said that trust has been broken one has to think whether the person knew of how it would affect the other, whether it was done taking the other person for granted etc.

When it comes to taking people for granted, Id say no one has the right to take anyone for granted. The minute a person is taken for granted, the whole "you are special" aspect goes for a toss. Never take a person for granted. They may be here today but gone tomorrow- cliched i know but thats the fact.

Coming back to the topic-are you supposed to forget and forgive, give another chance? Lets assume the answer to be yes. What if for the second time your trust is broken by the same person? Again say okay,Done. Now the third time.Something you hold close to yourself is breached-lets say your privacy. Now what are we to do? Smile and say, oh shucks no big deal? Lets add some spice to the story and say the trust breaker creates a fuss which includes bringing around statements of it not being a real/true relationship or that theres plenty of hypocrisy in the relationship,power struggles and other such immature statements-immature as they have been viewed only from the trust breaker's point of view;not from the shoes of the person whose trust was broken as well.Succumb to the fuss? If it were me, it would be-Naah. Id stick to my grounds.Maybe I'd reconsider if the trust breaker would understand why i say trust is broken. Then again, its not worth it is it? Id always have that nagging feeling in my head wondering when is this person going to break my trust again which would make for a false relationship-something i am not and never will be for.Only a really really strong relationship can withstand it.

For those who are fond of negating everything a relationship had when it was alive the minute trust is broken. Don't. The damage is done. Don't make it worse now. Whatever had happened was real till that moment. Learn to appreciate it for what it was than crib about what it wasn't. Hold whatever the rest of it you know about the person in secrecy, in TRUST.It doesn't matter whether the issue is big or small, when a person places trust in you, its wholesome which includes the small things and the big things.

Breaking trust is costly-to both the one who breaks the trust and to the one whose trust is broken. Its not worth it. What do you get at the end of it? I fail to understand.The one consequence I am sure of is that the person whose trust is broken finds it difficult to trust anyone else easily. Building trust back into a relationship is a very tedious exercise and I doubt if it can ever be done to restore the relationship to its glorious potential.

At the end of it, what I'd like to say is: If you have broken someone's trust or someone has broken your trust, think about it from their point of view as well.If you arent able to understand whats going on in their head, ask them with a cool mind. Add fury to this issue and you have a mess. Ask, understand-quietly and sincerely.Things might start looking a lil different and you would be one step closer to being a better person.

Comments

So, here is a small list of things,which I'd regularly update, if I can think of anything else, which bring a smile to my lips

-ice cream!!!
-Rs.10 Cadbury Diary Milk- not the bigger ones or the smaller ones, only the Rs.10
-Kids.. love them, their mischief, their smiles,their laughter, their unreasonable yet cute tantrums (the list goes on )
-When the dad finds it difficult to hold the kid in place while one look from the mom keeps the kid quiet
-When kids play around letting their imaginations run wild..they come up with very interesting and sometimes even thought provoking ideas
-Walking in the drizzle
-Certain incidences which have happened to me and anything which strikes a cord with that which includes having sung aloud a nursery rhyme in 10th grade biology class
-Some achievements of mine(atleast I'd call them achievements)
-Some songs
-My best friend
-My bro
-The look of peace on my dad's face when he is served fresh coffee in the balcony
-The look of relief on my mom's face when she finds out I've done her work for her
-The few words of recognition and dare I say, pride of my parents
- When bro gets stuck with another long dreary call he cant really avoid
-A mail or a scrap or an IM or a wall post from a friend
-When at the end of the day, I feel content about what I had done that day
-Certain movies,books which generally tend towards light romantic comedies or questioning books
-When people assume I am smiling coz Im upto mischief when in reality I have nothing up my sleeve
-When people absolutely refuse to accept I was the one who did that bit of mischief or poor performance
-The grins of my friends and everyone else as long as it doesnt look creepy!!
-When a couple gets caught:the expression on their faces!! Have seen it a few times, its hilarious..lol..
-the few photos in which i look good
-when plans work out just right
-Good food, at the right temperature and taste
-When I get something right
-Comments on my blogs (www.snkthoughts.blog.co.uk and www.snkstories.blogspot.com)
-When people keep up their promises
-When appreciated for work done provided I had put in satisfactory amount of effort
-When all that has to be done is done and I finally get time off for myself
- Sleep!! Too bad I'm averaging roughly 5 and half to 6hours per night
-Coca Cola :read not pepsi, not any cola
-Cashewnuts
-Kaju katli and rasagulla- love them!! For those who dont know, you are missing a sweet chunk of life-they are indian sweets
-When my mom immediately changes voice/tone/language when talking to someone else.
-The blank look and partly annoyed look my dad sports when my mom,bro and i manage to converse in 3-4languages mixing all of them yet understanding what the other one is saying while he knows not more than 2 languages
-Chats with friends,spending time
-Going out
-When I save cash
-When I do something a person tells me is impossible to do
-Writing
-Reading
-Travelling: even the thought of travel makes me grin
-The situations where 2 people are talking and you can clearly notice that one of them desperately wants to leave the conversation since they are absolutely bored..the expression and the body language is pretty funny
-The behaviour of guys when they realise they forgot an anniversary or bday
-When I manage to make the bullshit I sometimes spurt(go ahead and say most of the time if you want) sound like the most important discussion on earth and people actually fall for it
-When I turn up late to class or without having done an assignment and the teacher comes in later giving me enough time to complete the assignment
-When students copy bang in front of the invigilator but the invigilator never catches them
-Funny sights on the road:mostly people, the way they dress or behave
-Greenery
-The smell of Earth after heavy rain
-Waking up early in the morning, realising I dont have college or any other work that day and being able to pull the quilt back over my head and head off to the land of the zzzzzs
-When some people dont notice that another person is interested in them even if its in the face behaviour
-When I find some currency in bags i had used long ago or actually currency found anywhere, as long as its mine
-When I find what I need to buy immediately and at value for money paid
-When something I had been hoping but thought had low possibility of occurence actually happens
-When some people have stuck to their guns for the past year saying I'v lost more weight from the last time they saw me even though my weight has been more or less constant in that period
-When people express surprise in the number of things im doing or am involved in:iv never felt like it was a lot untill recently;yet another passing phase
-When the owner of the ice cream parlour i regularly visit is so confident that I'd anyway return next week and gives me some cash discount if i am out of cash
-When I get movie tickets to the movie iv been wanting to watch for a long time
-When in the middle of a boring movie, the 40-odd year old aunty (possibly elder, too much make up-cant tell) comments/makes a statement which you would assume from people much younger
-the beach

I cant think of anything else right now but I'm pretty sure I'd find a lot more to add to the list.

See? They are small things which bring big grins on my face

Will update with a new post if anything else hits my memory

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I'm sorry but right now I am pretty shocked and upset with a few people. I dont understand why it doesnt reach their thick skulls that i am not in the rat race. i have no need for it! I compare myself to my own past performances. Thats what I care about too! I dont care if Ms. ABC scores a century in 4 core subjects and sings and dances etc!Nor do I care if Mr. XYZ manages to have a very active social life and still stay in the race.The point is I am not even in the race! Not by my own entry anyway. I do nothing which in my opinion would give others an idea that i am competing with them! My only and best competitor is myself!Then why? why in the seven heavens do they want to hold a grudge against me to an extent you almost deprive me of an oppurtunity iv been dreaming about and wishing for?!At least tell me what have I done for you to hold a grudge?For all we know, it might be a simple case of miscommunication causing a minor misunderstanding! Worst is I question them and I get a response that they assumed Id already be knowing of it! EXCUSE ME MA'AM! It doesn't really hurt if you tell me another time does it? Argh!! Its plain atrocious!Oh wait you are yet to read their response for questioning why they think I'm competition when I come no where close: "Its not competition its just knowing how much you scored" Uh. right. Now, why would you want my marks? Oh yes I am mistaken. The first question in every general knowledge quiz is how much did I score. Didn't you know that? Tut tut. You have very poor general knowledge my dear friend, you should ask these people, they will tell you the marks of the top 5-7 people they think are competitors or as they would say had they had the sophistication-"In the league".

All Im saying is, if you consider me competition,please please please let it be healthy competition. Play fair and square is what I plead. Mind you, If you want to play dirty, I'll whack your ass by playing fair and square.

So tell me, How do you wanna play?
Anything- I'm game.

You asked for it, Now take it.

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Why? Why do mothers lash out their fury at their mother-in-law(the main opponent it seems) or husband at their kids? For heaven's sake its your kid!! Why would you want to lash out at it-either with words or actions just coz you are pissed with someone else? Both the kid and the mother end up crying.

Then, I have the base question- Why is it that all over the world there is constant friction between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law? I was guessing perhaps possessiveness or maybe different ways of thinking. Aren't both reasons something which could be worked on? Of course thats assuming there isnt any other reason. I seriously have no clue why it happens. I guess its something you would have to be married to figure out.

I just wish, whether the fights at home sort out or no, the moms would stop hitting or scolding their kids when they have done nothing wrong and even if they had done something wrong,there are other ways to tell them than raise your voice or hand or both. Its really sad to see their scared faces scurrying behind others whom they think would protect them and God forbid if its the mom-in-law, the kid gets it twice as bad. Feel real bad for them. Seriously, the kid is a kid! you can't expect it to understand your baseless fights!!

Please, please pass on the message if you see any other mom/dad ( i aint being partial )re-directing their foul mood at their kids, remind them whom they are upset with and accordingly work it out. Hurting the child isnt going to make anything better!

By the way, why is mom-in-law called mom-in-law?

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Love is the cause of creation, of destruction,of peace,of violence, so on and so forth.

Its not like I don't believe in it. I do. Only I prefer to look at it from all perspectives instead of just from the romantic angle.Its sad that even an Universal feeling such as love is being stereotyped.

It hurts me when its taken for granted. I've heard many people use the word "love" like any other word. Unfortunately they treat the very emotion,the very experience likewise. Thats when it hurts. For me, its not an emotion to be taken lightly may it be within the family or between friends or otherwise. I personally give a lot of weightage to the words I use. May be its wrong of me to expect others to do so too but I could always hope.

Simply put I'd say that you know you love someone when you put up with what they do at the same time tell them where they have gone wrong and help them correct it sticking with them all the way through. Thats the simplest I could put it. Its the only thing I could think of which would suit all relationships which glow in love.Others would add, I guess when it hurts you to see them hurt, When it makes you want to grin just by watching them grin etc etc. Its a complicated simple emotion;complicated when you think about it but absolutely simple and natural when you feel it. You decide. Are you going to think about it or Are you going to feel it?

I am not one vouching for blind love puhleeze!more often than not,that would lead to trouble.Especially when some people will realise that a certain someone did something for them, sometimes at the risk of losing something they hold dear just to be sure that the person they love,cherish and respect is happy is because they truly love the person. This is there even in the family. Sometimes, siblings have to give and take a lot. In most cases it becomes one-sided. Then again you have parents and children. I know of a few families where the children had to give up on something for the parents and vice versa. The difference lies in the fact that the kids dont know they have given up on something. For those who say the pained joy of loving someone is what makes it special, I'm not sorry to say that unless the "pain" part of it is recognised the "joy" bit is not gonna turn up- at least according to me.

Then what about when one person lies? especially if the lie is about love itself? Its one thing which kills even the strongest of bonds. Brings the entire relationship and everything built on that relationship to shambles. Trust is stirred. Even those who say they still love that person inspite of all those lies will have to agree that the rship cant go back to how it was. Some lucky ones have their loved ones learn a hard lesson and things look good for them but they wouldnt deny that the skeletons do keep popping their heads outta the cupboards.

So, whats the best way out/in?

I dont know.
Ask kids. Im pretty sure one of the lil geniuses would have the answer. After all,they are the embodiments of selfless love (well initially at least )

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Popular word with a lot of weightage assigned to it.

No question there.

The question lies how many of us do it with the intention of helping people, making a difference and wanting to do something for the underpriveliged?

I received a phone call today asking me how do things work at the NGO i volunteer at. I generally would have been thrilled at the prospect of someone else volunteering but this time i guessed the ulterior motives straight out. I suppose most of us who do it for no other purpose but to help and feel good about it can figure who do it to put in their resumes in their applications to some flashy institute.

Sad.

On the other hand I'm happy that those who need the help get help whether its driving factor is admission to an university which promises plum jobs on graduating or whether it is the genuine desire to help people. As long as they get what they deserve.

Plus I'm confident that anyone who does a single day of true community service would go back willingly for the satisfaction they get and not to make their resumes look healthy.

This time at least I know that for every 1 person who does it for their resume there are a minimum of 2 people who do it for the love of it, for the genuine need to serve.It need not be that you are enrolled in an NGO or other organisations to prove that you do community service. Helping out your neighbourhood kids with their homework itself is in a way community service. Starting recycling camps,cleaning up the place,planting new trees are ways of community service common to urban life.Of course,needless to mention,spending time at orphanages and Senior Citizens' homes are all very gratifying ways we, as individuals can contribute to society and know truthfully, from the bottom of our hearts that we do indeed do community service in the essence of it.

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We have heard of counting your age by the number of friends you have.I was thinking along those lines when it struck me what if we valued our lives by the number of people who would truly miss us when we were dead and gone. I dont mean the people who remember us on our birthdays and death anniversaries. I figured I, for one, dont think I'v made an impact like that on many people.I dont mean they have to remember, sit and cry day in and day out. I would prefer if people smile when they remember me. People who remember the little things Iv done. I am not saying I wouldnt want them to move on.I really do. What I meant by people who truly miss me I mean those in whose memories i hold a place as long as they have their memory.

If I think seriously and honestly, I suppose(ie to the best of my knowledge) Iv got around 4 people who would truly remember me, smile, shed a few tears, really miss me when Im dead and gone.

Not bad eh?

How many you have?

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Chances are you have read it before and appreciated the honesty.
Here it is, for you- Anyway

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Here is the website: http://www.paradoxicalcommandments.com

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